Thursday, June 12, 2008

Cliff Clavin Strikes Again

Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Ayuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Piman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit

Yes, you guessed it. That is the official name of Bangkok.

That was what I was confronted with first thing this morning. The atheist, our resident Cliff Clavin, walked over and promptly set a printout on my desk. No conversation with me; just set the paper down. I could have said, ‘oh yea, ha ha ha’ and played like I knew what it was. But I don’t really give a flip about looking uninformed. So my real reply was, “What the heck is that, your birth name?”

‘No, that’s the official name of Bangkok. I used to know it by memory; I had some friends from Thailand and I could rattle it off on command’

Good for you atheist, good for you.

It’s going to be a long day today.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Never Gonna Give You Up

Last Friday we went to my father-in-laws for dinner. He knows that I want to do woodworking around my house and got me a pair of great tools for Christmas.

He told me that he knew what he was giving me for my birthday. He has a tool at his shop that he has never used and it would be perfect. So I’m thinking this’ll be great. After a couple of glasses of wine and dinner, he asked me if I wanted to go look at his shop. He’s a painter by trade and has an enormous garage shop that, of course, gave me shop envy in the worst way. This is painful, in a guy way (no tears), since we just fixed up an extra bedroom for K. It’s her new sewing/craft/project room; I have a part (read small) of the garage in which to move tools around. I’m beginning to feel like a dog without a doghouse.

Back to the shop; K’s dad spots the tool, a jointer, he’s going to give me and asks if we want to take it home that night. I thought, what the heck, we’re here let’s do it. It only weighs about 500 lbs. Moving that thing in to the back of my 4Runner on a hot and extremely humid night left me drenched in sweat. Of course the door had to be tied down and the tool, attached to a base, sounded as if we had a sneaker-full basketball court in our vehicle. The squeaking was beyond bad and I knew K would pop a vein on the side of her head; I couldn’t wait!

The ride home was damn near unbearable for me as well as K and the kids, surprisingly, zonked out. I waited until Saturday morning to unload the beast and then realized what a jointer does. At least I believe it faces boards to give them a flat edge. I have no idea what I’m going to with it; at least short term. And it’s a good quality, belt driven tool.

I asked K what would possess him to buy a jointer in the first place. I said it would be like me, a huge music lover, buying a Rick Astley cd.

Monday, June 9, 2008

Monday Morning Musings

  • 2 hours of work with a chainsaw can leave your body out of commission for days, especially when the limbs are above your head
  • Social Distortion is underrated
  • A cat starts to smell like its litter box if it’s not emptied on a regular basis
  • I now think of driving around in dollar figures (it takes $18 to drive to my father-in-laws and have steak – but WORTH EVERY DOLLAR!)
  • Brand new mulch can smell like ass
  • BitTorrent is the next best thing to sliced bread
  • A home-made lasagna, out of the freezer, is so much better than store bought
  • If you interested in purchasing a pool want to go to a pool and spa show at the convention center, call to make sure there will actually be pools there(that cost me $3 in gasoline)
  • Pillsbury Crescent rolls, sprinkled with parmesan cheese and garlic are the bomb; thanks to K!

Friday, June 6, 2008

This Sums It Up

Co-workers have been saying it for months, "We need to do it this way in order for us to stay ahead and not create a bottleneck in our department". It's a no-brainer, yet no one would buy it. Now after months of overtime to 'catch up' the powers that be have come up with the idea that to stay ahead we need to do it 'this way'.

This commercial sums it up perfectly

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Have you seen the new styles?

I think I’ve become the fashion contact for one of my co-workers. I should have known that when I wore corduroys last fall and he asked me if it was now the appropriate season for them, that I had a problem on my hands.

Then it happened. “What’s that cologne you’re wearing?”

Picture Jim from The Office and his response to one of Michael’s inappropriate comments. That was me.

“It’s got a nice woodsy scent”. I had nowhere to run, he had blocked my cube. ‘Um, it’s Black Walnut from Banana Republic, K got it for me as a birthday gift.’ I tried to act like I was in the middle of chopping wood, changing spark plugs, cleaning fingernails with a pocketknife (basically anything guy-like).

It was the closest a metro sexual can come to making you feel like you’re getting ready to bend over and pick up the soap in a locker room shower. I fully feared that a reach-around was in my near future from this guy. So I continued my disinterested demeanor until he got bored with me and he walked away.

But it hasn’t let up; “where’d you get that shirt”, “those slacks are nice”, “look at this shirt I got at the outlet mall”, “Dillard’s doesn’t carry Nautica any more, can you believe it? Who carries it now?”

Dude, I don’t know; but I don’t like this job, its 40 hours of my week that I’ll never get back. And now I’m the fashion guru of this place and you want to converse about it. I don’t give a sh*t what I wear as long as it makes K want to treat me like her man-toy. So, yes, she dresses me and I’m cool with that.

And for the record, my shirt today is Mossimo from Target, fitting my form and, hopefully, turning me in to a man-toy for K tonight.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Lars and the Real Girl

We got word from our friends that this was a really good movie. And I've wanted to watch it but never felt like I was in the right mood to rent it. K and I rented it finally and we were not disappointed.

Ryan Gosling really spreads his wings in the off center roles that he takes. This one and Half Nelson come to mind first. I think he may be the next great actor of his generation.

The premise of this movie is that his character purchases an anatomically correct female doll, Bianca, as a companion. Now you may be thinking, 'whoa, I don't want to have to go to the adult video store to pick this up'. No, it is nothing like that, so let all those preconceived notions go.

Without giving too much away, Lars is coping with an inability to interact that stems from issues in his childhood. The doll is his outlet to interact. But this movie is really about the role his family and town play in helping Lars to reassimilate into society on some level.

You should not miss this one, but you may require a Kleenex or two. K was a little weepy and I think I may have had dust get in my eye one time.