My beautiful wife sent me a link today talking about a study involving step-dads and the troubles encountered between them and their step-kids. I have two kids from a previous marriage and sweet K has one, a daughter. She has sole custody of her so I have been immersed in the day to day dynamics that make up the House of D.
Like anything else some days are better than others. We have our moments of pure FUN and our moments of pure STUBBORNNESS(and that’s on both parts). Some things working in our favor: she’s young, I’m the only Dad in the picture and I have a strong faith in God. I am constantly praying for the patience to hear and listen, the courage to dive in head first and the care to let her know I will be there for her when she needs me. And my prayers do get answered. But these are baby steps, or more specifically, micro steps. Everything is fluid, nothing stays the same.
Some days I’m walking on a tightrope, carefully watching the boundary line, making sure Mom is there first for the tough decisions, but ready to give my input as needed. Only problem is my mouth is usually working on a different circuit than my brain. And that circuit has a 10 second head start on the brain’s circuit. So by the time I say the wrong thing, I’m already getting ‘The Look’. Yes guys you all know ‘The Look’. It’s the same one that makes the dog put their tail between their legs.
But you know what? I relish this role. Not because I have to fix everything, or have a need to please everyone. It’s because it’s a challenge and I have the opportunity to not only make a difference in my two children’s lives but also to a child that doesn’t have a dad in her life. I can be someone she can look up to, someone she can ask how to change the oil in a car, how to install crown molding, how to change the wax ring on a toilet, how to use a chainsaw, how to fix the chain on a bike, how to hit the apex of a turn just right so you can accelerate through the corner(in my dreams the kids can be racers). Ok, ok, she’s a girl and she won’t want ANYTHING to do with what I just said. BUT, I can show her how a man is supposed to treat his wife, and how he is supposed to give a child the tools to make it as an adult. And I get to see the look on my wife’s face for being all those things for her.
Yes, it’s not easy being a step parent but God has tasked me with it and I plan on making the most of it.