Thursday, May 8, 2008

"Are you gonna open your door again??"

My afternoon/early evening took a quick downward spiral; only to be saved by mowing the lawn.

Flashback to yesterday. I see my manager go into meeting with the HR guy. After the meeting as he walks by and I ask him to come over and approve a bid I had finished. He comes over and says, "Remind me, we need to talk". Great. "Uh oh", I reply. Nothing; no response.

So for almost 24 hours I'm trying to figure out what it is about. 'must be internet', I tell K. I'm a top producer and STILL have time on my hands. Got to fill it with something; and I can't have beer at my desk.

I decide to take the pro-active approach and find out this afternoon. It's WORSE than getting busted. I have to train an intern in June. SONOFA...

Yes, for two weeks I have to show an intern what we do, how we do it before they move to a different department for similar training. And I have to have a schedule put together by next Friday. It can't get any worse than this.

Yes it can.

I stop off at the gas station on the way home to fill up with liquid gold. There's a woman at the pump next to mine(imagine are cars are parked side by side and you get the idea). Then this sketchy guy comes up to me with amber contacts. 'great, now satan is going to bust my chops about work'. No, he's asking for change for the bus(carjack my car), and I honestly have no money on me. I'm paying by debit card. So he moves to the next guy in front of me. I open my door to get my lawnmower gas can to fill it. The lady is finishing her fill up and goes inside. I catch her and the employee looking out into the lot. I'm thinking they are watching the drifter walking around. Meanwhile, I'm observing my shoes wondering if beer really can make you smarter or if its just me.

Then I hear it, "Are you gonna open your door again?" WTF? It's that lady, who sounds like she's lived in a pack of Camel's and Boone's Farm for the past 45 years. "What?" I ask. "Yea are you gonna open that door again? Can't you read that sign?". I put my hands on my hips and give her a smirk, all the while thinking, I have no idea what the fk she's talking about. The smirk must have got her because the next thing she said was "You sonofabitch if you're gonna blow yourself up you're not taking us with you! It says to keep your door closed!" Then she mumbles something incoherently and drives off. All the while I'm thinking, that drunk is making me thirsty.

I look at the sign and she was referring to the static electricity warning while pumping gas, which stated not to re-enter your car. I felt vindicated by my ability to comprehend the English language and be a rule follower all at the same time.

I pull in to the driveway go directly to the fridge, do not pass without a frosty cold barley pop and....

No beer.

I had to settle for cutting the grass.

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