The alarm starts ringing about 5:45am each work (ugh) day and each work (ugh) day I roll out of bed at about 6:10am. K sleeps in and meets me downstairs for coffee before the kids get up.
I follow the same routine each day like a beat down dog; really, that’s the only way you can get me to work – beat me down.
I make the coffee; eat a piece of toast and wait for my conditioned response, the footsteps on the stairs. Nothing. This is the point where we reach the decision box on my Visio flow chart. Did K come down? Yes or No. If ‘No’ proceed to taking coffee to bedroom. Yes I am that good of a hubbie, and don’t you forget it. May I remind you, I threw the surprise party of a lifetime for K two weeks ago? That reminds me, I need to remind her.
But before I could even get to the coffee, children #1, #2, & #3 come trotting down for breakfast; every one of them in good moods ready to take on the day without a care in the world. Lucky turds. Time is now 7:00am. Child #2 asks if we have glasses that look like her teachers as it is ‘dress like your favorite teacher’ day at her school. I remember ‘sit in your seat, do your work and if you do anything remotely mischievous I will pull you by your hair to the chalkboard’ day. Whatever happened to that one? It went away with conservative values, morals, and ‘my kid is a winner ALL the time and should not be punished by YOU’ and now we will all pay for it. So I replied, “I don’t think we have any glasses like that”. She went to ask her mom and came down shortly thereafter. I asked what her mom said; to which child #2 replied, “She’s still in bed”. It’s now 7:05am.
I plod upstairs with the coffee in tow, “what are you doing? You need to get up”. K replies, “My head is killing me”. We’re all suffering through Spring allergies and our house sounds like a nose sniff on an audio loop.
My first thought, which rolls right off my tongue, as usual, is “Call in sick, I’ll take the kids to school and call in myself”
She says she can’t that she HAS to go to work.
I guess I’m going too.
Now it’s 8:20am and I can hear the CEO pissn’ and moanin’ in the morning meeting next door. I'm in Hell.